guest post

Introducing this week’s guest writer, Claire Duggan who is running the Baby Races for Tommy’s, which is Amoralia‘s charity of choice.

Claire writes:

In March 2009, my husband Jason and I decided to try for a baby.  Just 4 weeks later I held in my hand a positive test and I was ecstatic!

The pregnancy wasn’t smooth from the start, nevertheless the 12 week scan passed and I told everyone our exciting news. At my 20 week scan I was told that our baby was a little small but that it wasn’t anything to worry about. I had a private scan planned a few days later, for Jason’s birthday, but as soon as the sonographer put the wand on my tummy I knew something was wrong. Our beautiful boy’s heart had stopped beating and at 21 weeks I went through an induction to deliver my first son, Rory. Our post mortem results revealed blood clots in the placenta.

I fell pregnant again just 6 weeks after Rory died but sadly this ended in an early miscarriage. Incredibly, I fell pregnant again after 4 weeks and this time was closely monitored. All the milestones passed and everything looked good, however at 25 weeks I noticed a dramatic slowdown in his movements. I returned to hospital to check that everything was still well. Sadly our second son, Milo had already died. I could hardly believe it; I delivered Milo on the 11th of April a perfect boy weighing 2.2 pounds.

I was heartbroken, but determined to try again. I longed for a child more than ever now. Another miscarriage followed before, on the 7th of April and after a very stressful 36 weeks, I was induced and (following a 3 day labour) my 7.7 pound son Finlay came screaming into the world – the absolute best moment of my life! Our anguish wasn’t quite over as Finlay had some blood thinners in his system and a bleed on his lung but after 2 weeks in special care we brought him home.

I think of my boys every day and that is why I support the amazing work that Tommy’s does. Without Tommy’s research and expertise, I know that Finlay wouldn’t be here. That’s why on the 7th of July I will be putting on my trainers for the Baby Race. Like most new mums I’m (still) carrying a few extra pounds so this is a great way to get in shape and raise some money for Tommy’s. I hope I can make all my boys proud and raise as much awareness for Tommy’s and their wonderful work as I can.

The Baby Races are a series of 8K runs that encourage hundreds of mums and dads to run with their baby in their buggy! Tommy’s Baby Races gives families, friends and even the little ones the chance to actively help Tommy’s give more babies the best start in life. The races are organized in partnership with the pre and post-natal fitness experts, Buggyfit and each event begins with an aerobic warm-up led by Buggyfit’s qualified instructors. Now in its third year, the Tommy’s Baby Races will be taking place in even more UK locations from 1st to 22nd July. Locations include London, Aylesbury, Windsor, Cheltenham, Ruislip, Bedford, Northwich and Cambridge. Races will also be held in Cardiff and Glasgow in September.

Upon crossing the finish-line, each participant will be awarded a fun-packed goodie-bag including goodies from sponsors Cow & Gate, Forever Friends and Jump, and there are prizes to be won for top fundraisers. For more information and to learn more about other races taking place, visit www.tommys.org/babyrace

Tommy’s

Tommy’s is a national charity, funding research into stillbirth, miscarriage and premature birth and provides a free information service that educates all parents-to-be about health in pregnancy, including a telephone midwife service and free books and leaflets. To speak to a Tommy’s midwife call the charity’s PregnancyLine for free on 0800 0147 800 or visit www.tommys.org

Besides style, for Amoralia, innovation and empathy are also at the heart of the brand so it seems natural to commit a percentage of Amoralia’s profits to  a charity which aims to end the heartache caused by premature birth, miscarriage and stillbirth. This week for National Breastfeeding Week, Amoralia are donating a £1 for every purchase of Nursing Bras to Tommy’s.

With our resident writer Jules, our founder, away on maternity leave with baby Sacha, we’ve invited a selection of working parents to write guest post for us.

Introducing Triley Clifford, through her own experience as a new parent, she discovered that a good night’s sleep is everything we crave! Inventor of the ‘customblackoutblind.co.uk‘ Triley tells us how the business started, and is giving Amoralia customers the chance to win on of her bespoke black out blinds for your own family bedroom. (see below for details)

Triley writes:

At the tender age of 33, I had a baby son…Then I realised he didn’t EVER understand what time it really was – and wondered why did he fight sleep when he was clearly so tired?!

After three months passed I realised that I had had very little sleep and was tired and grumpy. “There must be a way?”, I cried.
And then, after reading hundreds of books on how to get babies to sleep through the night (even Gina Ford!), I discovered that it needed to be dark, very dark and they needed to be well-fed and contented. A ‘routine’ was soon set into place.

At the same time, we moved into a basement flat with Victorian pine shutters in the bedroom. Darkness, from 7pm to 7am…. Wow, what a revelation.. I finally managed to breastfeed my son to sleep in a dark, peaceful, quiet room.

Then we ran out of space and decided to buy a nice house, with lovely big windows, and a garden.

“Oh cripes, windows! Windows, big ones!”

I hung some towels over the curtain rail – they fell down.

I pegged some towels to the curtain rail – they let in chinks of light.

So I hung up some blackout material – which fell down.

I stuck the blackout material  up with tape – it fell down.

then.

I discovered sew-on Velcro…

ooh…

however, I didn’t like the fabric design – so I covered it with some nice fabric…. “ooh it looks smart and stays up and is nice and dark – and Wow – it worked!”

At coffee mornings, it seems all new parents talk about is sleep, the luxury of sleep and how much we WANT some sleep; as well as how much are our babies are eating/drinking and how to feed in peace without all the distractions of dogs barking, phones ringing and TVs  blaring etc.

My friends loved the style of blind I’d put up in my baby son’s room so I started to make some for them too. Creating a peaceful haven for feeding and daytime sleeps.

And well, the rest is history.

A very dear friend built me a website, and designed a beautiful logo, and I joined twitter…and the contacts, and orders started flooding in!

I never, ever thought I would have my own business. But here we are, and life is good… All hail to the technical revolution of mummy-bloggers and social media!

For a chance to win one of Triley’s bespoke blinds, send us your details here, telling us the best advice you ever received as a new parent – good luck!

You can also tell us on Facebook at facebook.com/AmoraliaLondon and to do your bit to support new brands, go and give Triley a ‘like’ on facebook.com/Customblackoutblinds – tell her Amoralia sent you!

This week’s guest post…

My name is Sandra Bush and I am a Natal Hypnotherapy™ practitioner and NCT Antenatal Teacher. I have been helping prepare women and their partners for birth and parenthood in the Wimbledon and Wandsworth area for over 20 years.

My husband and I have two sons, Tom and David, the eldest of whom was born 23 years ago and was my way into the NCT.

I booked an antenatal course and duly turned up, not knowing what to expect. In fact that just about summed up my attitude to pregnancy and birth way back then – I hadn’t really done any research at all.

Tom’s birth was incredibly straightforward and the classes, with their huge focus on breathing and relaxation, certainly helped. The student doctor who ‘caught him’ was seen three days later serving behind the counter of our local chippie (!) as I had returned from hospital to an empty fridge.

Tip no. 1- fill your freezer – another example of lack of planning.

Breastfeeding however was a completely different matter and at just three weeks old our baby was back in hospital with me, whilst the doctors carried out a battery of tests to see why he was so underweight. A few anxious days followed; poor feeding was diagnosed and we were sent home with instructions to top up his feeds with formula. By two months breastfeeding had stopped and although tongue-tie had been diagnosed no-one was prepared to snip the membrane holding the tongue down, as at the time there was no agreement that it affected breastfeeding, despite my lovely NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor providing evidence of research articles to the contrary.

Tip no. 2 – do get the midwife to double-check if there are problems with feeding as it is not always obvious.

Tongue-tie affects about 10% of all babies and half may find feeding difficult as a result. These days the trauma we experienced is far less common as it is something midwives check for at birth and snipping the membrane that holds the tongue down is something that can easily be arranged by a GP, referring on to a Pediatrician. Lactation Consultants and specially trained midwives are also able to carry out the procedure. It is quick and babies usually feed straight away. See Kate Carter’s article for more on tongue tie.

So what did the NCT do for me that was so amazing? I was counselled out of continuing to struggle with breastfeeding, a step that was unbearably difficult to take but one that made all the difference. A short while after, reflecting that this was not really the advice I expected to be given by an NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor, someone so passionate about breastfeeding, that I felt I should give something back so investigated training to teach antenatal classes.

Becoming an NCT Antenatal teacher drew me into the fascinating world of birth and parenting. Our sons grew up surrounded by birthing pictures, charts and pieces of equipment so hopefully when it comes to their turn they will be fully prepared. How many 8-year-old boys can describe the benefits of upright, forward, open positions during birth!?

Our eldest son Tom was in fact nearly eight  years old when his baby brother David was born, as he was with us in hospital where I had gone to be induced, a day and a half after my waters had broken. The planned home-birth went out of the window but no matter as I could have been anywhere and despite being hooked up to a monitor and on a drip for the duration, in my mind I was far away and just focused on breathing, moving around and staying upright throughout. I remember being aware of an incredibly intense sensation then hearing a little voice shout “It’s a boy”, as Tom watched his baby brother being born. I came to at that point, looked down and saw our new baby son, and just knew it was probably the most fulfilling thing I would ever achieve, bringing this new life into the world with all my family around me.

So, to bring myself back to this article I just want to finish with a few words about my latest venture. For many years I have taught women in my NCT classes who have used Natal Hypnotherapy CDs and have been convinced that their birth experiences have been so much better than they could have expected as a result. Sometime last year a group of four, an entire class, all used the techniques and ALL had quick, straightforward births.

When the opportunity came up to train with Natal Hypnotherapy to run workshops I decided it really was time to get involved. Working with Maggie Howell was just fantastic and we learnt how hypnosis can change perceptions and reframe beliefs, inducing a sense of calm and relaxation rather than panic and fear. Those of us from a similar background to mine found ourselves unlearning a lot of what we already knew, stripping birth back to basics. I am now delighted to be offering Natal Hypnotherapy workshops in a studio in Wimbledon at Gooseberry Bush, a fantastic family-friendly cafe that is also home to a number of therapists offering a variety of treatments and classes such as massage, aromatherapy, acupuncture, osteopathy, Baby Massage, Pilates, NCT Antenatal classes and NCT Relax, Stretch and Breathe, to name but a few.

Check out my website: www.birthconfidence.com

also have a look at these: www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk,  www.nct.org and www.gooesberrybushcentres.com

NCT Breastfeeding helpline: 0300 330 0771 (7 days a week, 8am-10pm)

pop over to say hello to Sandra on twitter @SandraLBush

Guest post from Kate Carter, Life & Style editor of guardian.co.uk – Kate talks about ‘tongue tie’

Feeding a baby can be such an emotive issue, it’s hard to know how to broach the subject with friends who’ve just given birth.

“How’s it going, are you getting any sleep, and does it feel like a cheese grater has been applied to one of the most sensitive areas of your body?” is probably not ever going to be a natural conversation starter. But it’s a shame we don’t have more open conversations about the early days of feeding, because I think one of the most common reasons for difficulty with breastfeeding, and one of the most common reasons for women to give up, crying in agony, is often undiagnosed.

Tongue tie is not something you hear a lot about. Understandably many pre-birth classes focus on the birth itself, not the difficulties that can come after – and who would want to put women off even trying to breastfeed by a litany of possible ailments? But the sad thing about tongue tie is that it is usually a breeze to treat.

So what is it? The tie in question is the frenulum, the stringy looking membrane that attaches the bottom of your tongue (in the middle) to the bottom of the mouth. In many newborns, this tie can be too tight, causing difficulty with tongue extension and therefore a bad ‘latch’ or feeding position.

Cue agony to mum and sometimes frustration to baby. Some babies have a very obvious one – my second daughter had what the lactation consultant described as a “90% tie” – others may have a smaller one but struggle with it more. There are many helpful websites with more info – such as the fabulous Kellymom  – or of course the good old NHS but I for one would like to see all hospital midwives trained in identifying this easily treated problem in hospital at birth.

It takes a second to snip (my daughter barely even cried) yet can make such a huge difference – but if left undiagnosed can lead to awful problems. The NHS site says some 3-10% of babies are born with it, yet I suspect a proper survey would reveal it’s an awful lot more.

Thank you Kate, for sharing your experience with tongue-tie, and the links Kate mentioned are here:

http://kellymom.com/health/baby-health/bfhelp-tonguetie/

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/tongue-tie/Pages/Introduction.aspx

you can also follow kate on twitter @katehelencarter and us too @AmoraliaLondon

With our resident blogger away on maternity leave (our founder Jules!) and enjoying being Mummy to new baby Sacha, we’ve invited a few “guests” to share their birth stories with us.

Introducing Dani Diosi, an experienced Antenatal & Childbirth educator. Whilst teaching for the National Childbirth Trust, she utilized her own experience with twins to also hold multiple birth classes.  Subsequently qualifying in Natal Hypnotherapy, she furthered her training and qualified as a hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner.

In addition to her Natal Hypnotherapy courses she also trains midwives and other birth professionals on the benefits of the above treatments.  Her common sense approach is reflected in her home life where, as the mother of three girls she’s a firm believer that there’s no such thing as the perfect parent – we can all only do our best!

“I found out that I was expecting non-identical twins when I was 12 weeks pregnant.  I joke about it now, but it was an extremely good thing that I was lying down when they told me – because the surprise of it completely bowled me over.  Of all the things that one thinks about when going for their first scan, multiple pregnancy was way down on the list – actually, come to think of it, it wasn’t even featured!!

However, from that moment on, I was confronted with doom and gloom everywhere I went.  From friends and family: “Oh crikey! You mean you’ve got to get two out??” To the medical profession: “[intake of breath] Well if you make it to 35 weeks you will be lucky!  Having twins is risky and of course there is even more of a risk to the second twin! You will have to have an epidural!”

At the time, I knew no different and went along with everyone’s increasing anxiety which of course added to mine several times over.  When I finally went into labour (at 39 weeks plus 4 days, by the way!!!!!) we rushed into hospital as I had been told to do and I was actually fine.  Stopping every few minutes to have a contraction, moving around, breathing – it all seemed pretty instinctive.  I was shown into the room where I was to labour with my babies, they told me to lie down on the bed so that they could attach the monitors to me and that is where it stopped being fine.  The pain became unbearable but every time I tried to move to cope with it, I was told off for causing the monitors to lose the heartbeats.  I kept telling myself that it would be ok, because I knew that the epidural would be along any minute.  But it never came.  There was a query over whether or not I had a condition that would cause my blood to clot too effectively (i.e. cause an embolism) so I was not allowed an epidural.  Now I know that is not necessarily a bad thing but at the time I got scared.  Not just because I was climbing the walls with the pain but because I had been constantly told that I would HAVE to have an epidural because “it was dangerous to deliver twins without one!”  So in my mind, my babies were now in mortal danger.  Long story short, they were born vaginally and they were ok but I have never been so frightened or felt so out of control of any situation in my life.  I remember thinking at the time “this is ridiculous, I know I have just had two babies but surely a woman is supposed to give birth and I am sure it should not be anything like what I have just experienced!”

My feelings about that were so strong that I decided to train to become an antenatal teacher so that I could help women to have positive birth experiences.  I trained with the National Childbirth Trust and then came across Natal Hypnotherapy™ (www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk) which works on the principle that the more calm and relaxed the mother is during her labour the better it is for both her and her baby – not exactly rocket science is it?  Adrenaline (produced by our bodies when we are scared, or anxious, or embarrassed) cancels out the powerful labour hormones that help birth to progress effectively and consistently, making the process much longer and much more painful.  When a woman is calm and relaxed, the production of these labour hormones minimise the risk of complications.  It is not about ‘pain-free’ labour because there is a reason why women need to feel their contractions (that’s another whole blog post!) but it is about working with the contractions to effectively birth a baby and not suffering from them.

I alongside all the other Natal Hypnotherapy™ practitioners have help thousands of parents to make a real difference to their birth experiences by empowering them with a real understanding of the birth process and what it needs as well as what it doesn’t.  The techniques to help them keep calm and relaxed are incredibly effective and truly prepares them (and gives them!) a better birth.  Natal Hypnotherapy™ can be used in any type of birth whether that is the most peaceful, intimate, home water birth or a highly medicalised twin birth or a caesarean section because a calm and relaxed mother is going to result in a calm and relaxed baby.

Do I wish I had known about Natal Hypnotherapy™ when I had my babies?  Absolutely.  But then, if I had not had the experience I did, I may not have gone on to learn the things I have learnt and maybe wouldn’t be in the privileged position I am now of helping parents at the most exciting time in their lives.”

Thank you Dani, for sharing your story with us x
Amoralia x

Dani Diosi (www.theholisticparent.co.uk) Natal Hypnotherapist, Hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner teaches both group and private Natal Hypnotherapy™ workshops in Watford, Herts. For practitioners near you have a look at www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk

You can follow Dani on twitter @DaniDiosi and also would love to say hello to us @AmoraliaLondon

With our resident blogger away on maternity leave (our founder Jules!) and enjoying being Mummy to new baby Sacha, we’ve invited a few “guests” to share their birth stories with us.

Introducing Michelle Lee, Founder of recently launched website: www.keungzai.com the online maternity boutique

“Mommy, Mommy….!”

I wake blurry-eyed to my 2 year old Little Man, pulling on my bed covers, grinning ear-to-ear full of zest and energy. My phone starts ringing, it’s my web developer ironing out some issues on the site and it’s not even 7:30am. This is a snippet of the past week as founder of Keungzai – The Online Maternity Boutique.
Rewind 4 years: I had conformed to the London ‘rat race’, working for ASOS.com – enjoying the buzz of the Womenswear buying department, learning from an abundance of great creative individuals and of course making invaluable friends. A few years in, I fell pregnant – I wasn’t glowing, I wasn’t full of happy hormones. I felt lethargic and felt constant nausea. The last thing I wanted to do was work, (but I had no choice there). And I really did not feel up to being pushed about the high street crowds with my back aching, precious bump in tow and highly sensitive stomach!  I was frustrated at the lack of choice, lack of quality and lack of stylish maternity clothes on offer both online and offline.  The experience inspired me to start my own maternity label, available online 24/7, allowing fashion-forward mums to browse the shop from the comfort of their own homes.
Keungzai stocks well known brands such as Amoralia and Peaks of London alongside Keungzai own label. We’re an independent start-up business but I’m proud of what we’ve achieved so far, designing and manufacturing all our own label product in Britain. I hope you like it too!

Thank you Michelle, for sharing your story with us, and we look forward to hearing about your next challenge – potty training!
Amoralia x

You can follow Michelle on twitter @MicheleKeungzai and @Keungzai also would love to say hello to us @AmoraliaLondon
Michelle is also running a prize draw over on her facebook page for a chance to win £350 of product, including some Amoralia-lovelyness… so pop over, like their page, and tell them *Amoralia sent me* for an extra chance to win!

Oh! And don’t forget, we’d love you to vote for Amoralia in the Prima Baby Fashion Awards too, we are toooo excited for words to be nominated for Best maternity swimwear, Best maternity lingerie and Best maternity sleepwear.

click here to vote http://www.babyexpert.com/Prima-Baby-fashion-awards-2012

With our resident blogger away on maternity leave (our founder Jules!) and enjoying being Mummy to new baby Sacha, we’ve invited a few “guests” to share their birth stories with us.

Introducing Kate Carter, Life & Style editor of guardian.co.uk, currently on maternity leave.

Despite having two children – two little girls – I have never given a huge amount of thought to any birth plan or idea of how I wanted it to go.
Other than avoiding a c-section if at all possible (I’ve never had surgery and the idea terrifies me) I was pretty happy to go with the flow. I believed, and still do, that people fixate too much on the birth and not enough on what happens after.

And my two experiences were very, very different. Lily, my eldest, was born in 2008. My waters broke first and I soon had contractions only 90 seconds apart but after 40 hours I was still a pathetic 1 cm dilated. Bring on the synoticin drip, IV antibiotics, an epidural which took 4 attempts to work and she finally arrived into the world 4 hours later. But what happened next will always overshadow any memories of the labour itself. Lily wouldn’t feed, and after a few fraught days was diagnosed with acute renal failure. She was transferred to the neo-natal intensive care unit. I will never ever forget the moment they wheeled her in there, the scary high tech equipment everywhere, the incubators, the tiny premature babies.. I have never been so utterly terrified in my life and I hope never to be again.

It has a very happy ending though, this story, as Lily somehow managed to cure herself (she’s something of a medical mystery as they have no idea what caused it and no idea why it stopped) and after a week of expressing so I could bottle feed her breastmilk, on Christmas Day morning (does this story get any more sentimental?) she suddenly decided she could do this herself and started feeding properly. And didn’t stop for 2 and a half years.

Rosalie, who was born last October, was a far easier labour – in fact the trickiest bit as I recall was installing Lily’s car seat in my Dad’s car between contractions so he could take her to nursery… My waters broke at 3am, I was in a hospital birthing pool at 9am and she was born just after 11am. With no pain relief whatsoever. Not even a paracatemol. She was soon feeding nicely and still is.

Nothing anyone writes or tells you can prepare you for childbirth, and as Wendy said you can’t plan how it goes. But really, it’s at worst a couple of days of pain – looking after this new little being you created is the really tricky bit! For me, feeding is of course about the best start for your child, it’s about bonding etc – but more, because it was the moment at which Lily started feeding properly that coincided with her health improving, it’s something that is utterly vital for my girls.

Thank you Kate, for sharing your story with us, and welcome to the world baby Rosalie (and of course Lily)!
Amoralia x

You can follow Kate on twitter @KateHelenCarter and also would love to say hello to us @AmoraliaLondon

If you would like a chance to win some Mama Tea for pregnant or breastfeeding mamas, pop over to our facebook page here.

Oh! And we’d love you to vote for Amoralia in the Prima Baby Fashion Awards too, we are toooo excited for words to be nominated for Best maternity swimwear, Best maternity lingerie and Best maternity sleepwear.

click here to vote http://www.babyexpert.com/Prima-Baby-fashion-awards-2012

With our resident blogger away on maternity leave (our founder Jules!) and enjoying being Mummy to new baby Sacha, we’ve invited a few “guests” to share their birth stories with us.

Introducing Wendy, PR for Une Beauty and Bourjois and baby Wren:

If you’d asked me five years ago I’d have said a c-section was the only thing I wanted, but once discovering we were pregnant a hypnobirth was my dream birth. I had this perfect, drug free birth in my head, and was convinced this would be what would happen.
How wrong I was. At 30 weeks we discovered our baby was lying in a transverse position, and as I had a heart shaped uterus the consultant at our hospital decided a planned c-section was the only option as there was no way I could have a natural birth. It took a few days to get used to this but I knew I had to accept this was the safest option. I felt cheated that I would not get to experience a contraction or know what it was like to have my waters break, but my sister kept telling me I was not missing out on anything!

So, I was booked in for a c-section 10 days before my due date as they wanted to avoid me going into labour. My c-section was booked for the Monday, however the early hours of Sunday morning I started experiencing contractions and we drove to hospital with the contractions being six minutes apart.  I sat hooked up to the monitors and listened to the hypnobirthing tracks feeling a bit of discomfort but nothing too severe. The registrar decided after about 45 minutes she’d do an internal examination to discover I was fully dilated. There was a sudden rush to get me into theatre and my planned c-section had now become an emergency one.

We were so excited we’d shortly be meeting our new baby. In reality I didn’t get to hold her until 16 hours after she was delivered as she did not breathe for 15 minutes and was whisked straight off to the Special Care Baby Unit to be put into an incubator where she’d be monitored for the next three days.

I didn’t get to breastfeed her for at least a day and they had her sipping from a cup but four weeks later I’m breastfeeding her successfull. There is a real sense of closeness and I do think we have a strong bond now.

I lost over a litre of blood and spent seven hours in recovery. Those 15 minutes of not knowing whether she’d survive or not were the longest we have ever had to wait, and my husband was planning in his head how he would tell me we’d lost our baby. Wren is now four weeks old, and keeping us up every night!

However much planning you do, it may not to go the way you want so expect the unexpected.

Thank you Wendy, for sharing your story with us, and welcome to the world baby Wren!
Amoralia x

If you would like a chance to win some Mama Tea for pregnant or breastfeeding mamas, pop over to our facebook page here.

Oh! And we’d love you to vote for Amoralia in the Prima Baby Fashion Awards too, we are toooo excited for words to be nominated for Best maternity swimwear, Best maternity lingerie and Best maternity sleepwear.

click here to vote http://www.babyexpert.com/Prima-Baby-fashion-awards-2012